Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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