Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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