The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.