she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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