What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
