White coat. Heels.
Can i not drive my cunt home
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
