You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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