There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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