remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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