shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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