wanna go halves on a baby?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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