new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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