I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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