I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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