kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
