You're so nebulous sometimes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
