How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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