Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
