I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
