Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
