I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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