Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
try to milk me bitch
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
