I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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