She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
