Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There r osticjed everywhere
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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