you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
