so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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