guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
