You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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