Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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