He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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