I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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