I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
