Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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