problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
