it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
