so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize