hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
