Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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