We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
