I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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