Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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