doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
