Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The air was thick with penises
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
