Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
