i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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