porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You made out with two different species that night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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