So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
