I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
