I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
nutella sex= disaster
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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