Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize