yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
