So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
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Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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