I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
