I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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