He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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