I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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