i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
