trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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