Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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