never play flip cup with pint glasses
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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