Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
